The Difference Between Hearing and Listening: A 4-Step Process to Overpower Disability Assumptions
One of the biggest barriers people with disabilities face isn't always the disability itself.
It's assumptions.
Assumptions about what we can do.
Assumptions about what we need.
Assumptions about what success should look like.
Ironically, many of those assumptions come from people who genuinely want to help.
A few years ago, I was struggling to use a computer mouse because of the hand tremors caused by my Cerebral Palsy. The mouse required constant gripping, squeezing, and precise movements—tasks that became increasingly difficult as my tremors intensified throughout the day.
What most people didn't see was how much it was affecting my work. Simple tasks took longer, navigating between screens became frustrating, and I often found myself accidentally clicking the wrong buttons while trying to follow established processes. As a result, my quality control began to suffer—not because I lacked the skills or knowledge to do my job, but because the tool itself wasn't working with the way my body moved.
The challenge wasn't my ability to perform the work. The challenge was finding the right way to access it.
When I explained the challenge, I was asked if a different keyboard with a built-in trackpad would help.
On the surface, it sounded like a solution.
The problem?
The trackpad required the exact same movements that were causing the issue in the first place.
They heard my words.
But they didn’t listen to my experience.
That moment taught me something important: empowering people with disabilities isn't about making assumptions. It's about creating an environment where people feel confident enough to share what they need and are trusted when they do.
Here are four steps every workplace, leader, educator, and community member can take to help people with disabilities find their voice and achieve success.
Step 1: Replace Assumptions with Questions
Too often, we decide what someone needs before asking them.
Instead of saying:
"We have a solution for you."
Try asking:
"What would help you be successful?"
People living with disabilities spend every day navigating their challenges. They are often the experts on their own needs.
The best accommodation usually starts with a conversation, not a conclusion.
Step 2: Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
There is a huge difference between hearing someone and listening to them.
Hearing is waiting for your turn to speak.
Listening is taking the time to understand what someone is actually saying.
When I explained that my hand tremors made using a mouse difficult, the focus should have been understanding the root issue: fine motor control.
Instead, the focus became finding a quick replacement.
Real inclusion happens when we stop searching for the fastest answer and start understanding the real challenge.
Step 3: Focus on Outcomes, Not Methods
People often become attached to how a task is completed rather than whether it gets completed.
For me, a touchscreen laptop became the answer.
It wasn't the traditional approach, but it allowed me to perform my job efficiently and independently.
Inclusive environments recognize that there are often multiple paths to the same destination.
What matters most is the outcome.
Not whether everyone took the same route to get there.
Step 4: Give People the Confidence to Use Their Voice
Many people with disabilities spend years feeling like they have to prove themselves.
They hesitate to ask for accommodations.
They worry about being judged.
They fear being viewed as difficult.
Creating confidence starts with creating safety.
When people know they will be heard, respected, and supported, they become more willing to advocate for themselves.
And when people advocate for themselves, barriers begin to disappear.
The Real Goal
The goal of inclusion isn't simply providing accommodations.
The goal is creating environments where people feel empowered to contribute their talents without constantly fighting assumptions.
Because when we move beyond assumptions and start listening, something powerful happens.
People gain confidence.
People find their voice.
And people achieve things that others may have never thought possible.
I know this because I've lived it.
Not because someone assumed what I needed.
But because eventually, someone listened.
