“Don’t Guess. Ask.” — The Four Words That Change Accessibility

“What Do You Need?” — The Boldest Accessibility Question We Can Ask

We are wired to help. It’s human nature.

But when it comes to disability, good intentions sometimes trip over awkward delivery.

There’s the cautious “Are you okay?” paired with the public stare.
There’s the over-helping.
And yes… sometimes there’s the unsolicited wheelchair push that no one asked for. 😅

If your heart is in the right place but your words feel unsure, let me give you the most powerful, respectful, and confidence-filled question you can ask:

“What do you need?”

That’s it.
No assumptions.
No rescue mission.
No guessing game.

Just clarity.

And when you ask it with sincerity, three bold things happen:

 

1. It Hands Over the Microphone 🎤

Instead of deciding for someone, you invite them to decide with you.

You’re saying:

• I trust you.

• I respect your experience.

• Your voice belongs in this conversation.

Sometimes the answer will be simple.  Sometimes it will be layered.  Both deserve space.  That’s empowerment.

 

2. It Replaces Pity With Partnership

This question isn’t about fixing someone.
It’s not about saving someone.

It’s about standing beside them.

It shifts the energy from: “Let me take over.” To: “I’m here. Lead the way.”

That shift? That’s the difference between sympathy and belonging.

 

3. It Turns Listening Into Leadership

Here’s where the real strength shows up.

Asking is step one.
Listening — truly listening — is the action.

No interrupting.
No minimizing.
No “Well, have you tried…”

Active listening is leadership.  And sometimes, being heard is the accommodation that helps people find their voices.

Accessibility is not just about ramps and policies.  It’s about culture. And culture changes when we stop assuming and start asking.

So the next time you feel unsure, don’t retreat. Don’t overcompensate. Don’t guess.  Step forward and ask the question that builds trust, dignity, and real inclusion:

What do you need?